Bona Fide Confidence

Rekindle the romance despite the economy

Low on cash because of the economy? Don’t let your skinny wallet put a damper on your romance.

You may not have it like Obama– to take your significant other (SO) on a helicopter ride to the theatre in NYC.  However, you still have some low cost and stress-free options.

10 Tips to rekindle the romance during the current economy:

1-      Cook a special date night dinner at home

This doesn’t have to be a crazy production if you don’t know how to cook. Go online find a quick and easy recipe. Put your heart and soul into it. Your SO will appreciate the effort. If you were smarter than the rest of us and learned how to cook, this is the time to make your partner’s favorite meal.

 

2-      Make it a movie night at home

Go to your local public library and rent your partner’s favorite movie for FREE. Stay away from the films that make them angry or sad. We want them to remain positive and think happy thoughts.

 

3-      Take a bike ride or a long walk

Spend time each other outside of the house and far away from the stack of overdue bills on the kitchen table. Spend some time enjoying each other’s company.

 

4-      Surprise your SO with a card just because

Your partner will appreciate the gesture even if you purchased the card from the dollar store. Don’t simply rely on the author of the card to express how you feel. Add your own special note. Be confident that your partner loves your chicken scratch–and will be able to read it!

 

5-      Take a stroll to your nearest coffee or ice cream shop

Avoid taking the family car for this one. The goal is to spend as much time as possible with each other, and you will save on gas. You can buy one refreshing treat that you can both share.

 

6-      Cut down on time spent with the boys

Man, you might want to cut down on some of the extracurricular activities with your buddies. Show your partner that you are actually focusing on improving the family’s current financial situation.  Show your partner that you are constantly looking for work or business opportunities. If you hang with the boys 7 days/week, you might want to only do it 5 days/week. I’m just saying!

 

7-      Pick up the slack

Do some extra work around the house. Help out with the household chores.  This is not the time to do things your way. For example, if your SO likes the towels folded a certain way, do it their way– even if your way may be better. Your expertise is not required at the moment.

 

8-      Make it a game night

C’mon you got this. Wii Fit, card games, board games, hide and go seek…Need I say more?

 

9-      Take it back to the ol’ school

Play the songs from high school or college. The ol’ school joints seem to always bring on happy memories. Make your SO a special CD with all their favorites. They can play it around the house, in the car, or at work. They will be thinking and be appreciative of you.

 

10-   Dance with each other at home

There is a reason why slow dancing was invented. On your Date Night, add slow dancing on the agenda at home. If you have kids, don’t hesitate to show them that you are enjoying each other’s company. Please keep it rated G.

 

BONUS

Tonight, while your partner is winding down after a long day, do the following:

-          Sit them down in front of the TV or with a book

-          Light up a couple aromatherapy candles in the area

-          Get a  12” x 8”x 4” plastic container and two towels

-          Fill the container with warm water, about half-way

-          Add a few squirts of a scented liquid hand soap or shower gel

-          Place one towel under the container, then soak your partner’s feet into the container for about 5-10 minutes

-          Rub each foot with a foot scrub–a facial scrub will work also (check out her vanity for these items)

-          Soak the feet again for about 5 more minutes

-          Wash off the feet to get rid of any remaining scrub, then dry the feet with a towel

-          Apply lotion to each foot and gently massage as your rub the lotion into the feet

Keep it simple, be creative, and show them that you care about the relationship. Your partner will appreciate the effort.

Getting back on your feet is certainly a priority. However, strengthening and nurturing your union should also be at the top on the list.

 

 

Tweet This Post 

Is there a cause/effect in how we are treated by the world? Does it make a difference in getting someone to help you in a Department store, or being seated at a good table in a restaurant? Can’t people look through all the superficial and see the real us? Fortunately, guys, we have some scientific evidence to support what you wear does make a difference in how you influence the world around you. Maybe we didn’t want to believe (but suspected) the real reason that guy down the hall who always dressed great, but didn’t know poop is now a vice president! When your credibility is crucial, in situations such as job interviews, court testimony, sales presentations and first dates (or even second and third dates) it is important to made a “good” first impression.“You never get a second chance to make a first impression ” — Will Rogers

Behavioral scientists tell us that this “first impression” is a strong one. And the process of sizing you up is on a subconscious/emotional level of the brain. Your evaluation by a stranger takes 30 seconds or less and can be so strong that it could take as much as five years to erase. Don’t you think it’s easier to make a great first impression with you appearance and then follow up by showing what a capable, impressive and trustworthy person you are with a winning performance? We’ve all heard the expression ” You can’t judge a book by its cover”. If you agree, it’s a good thing you’re not in publishing. Publishing houses have long since proven that a cover may not tell you what’s inside a book, but the cover is the reason that we pick up one or the other off the rack. Until a book is picked up, no sale is made!

A good example of “how you look being more important than what you say” is the first Kennedy-Nixon presidential debate. Radio listeners thought that Nixon had won while TV watchers gave Kennedy the win. Kennedy looked great, fresh and vigorous while Nixon appeared tired and rumpled. The TV audience gave more credibility to what they saw than what they heard. When I describe someone as an assistant manger at a fast food restaurant you immediately conjure an image of that person, maybe without much conscious thought. When I mention a high level executive you get another, different image in your mind. There is a definite picture of a person with credibility, authority and power – a professional image. Why not take advantage of the research on human nature and utilize the knowledge to enhance and control how you are accepted? A research reports that people notice the following about another human being and in this order.

Remember this is a prehistoric/subliminal evaluation:

1.Skin color

2.Sex

3. Age

We can do nothing about the first three, but we can work on the next four factors.

4. Bearing This includes height (taller people receive higher starting salaries), head movement (nodding is negative with regard to perception of authority) and body language (smiling is perceived as weakness if over done).

5. Appearance Since about 90% of you is covered by apparel, the clothing you choose makes a significant impact. This is such an important area, and on in which you can effect the greatest impression we’ll discuss it detail below.

6. Direct Eye Contact Don’t stare, but look others in the eye 40 – 60% of the time, otherwise you’ll be perceived as having something to hide or that you don’t know what you are talking about.

7. Speech 55% of communication is non-verbal. It’s not what you say, but how you say it.
“What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson What you wear makes a difference in how you influence the world. Why not take advantage of this. Since 90% of us is covered with clothing, the clothing you choose makes a significant impact and one area where we can effect the greatest impression. Dressing badly can be taken as contempt for other people or the situation you are in. Clothing is a way to show others that you have respect and consideration for the situation. If you have respect for the theatre, you don’t show up in shorts and a T-shirt to a Broadway play. (The same goes for church, a job interview, etc.).So it’s not a question of being judged. We are judged thousands of times everyday. It’s a question of whether we want to have an affect on that judging or not. Are we ready to see what we can do to present ourselves in the best package to project a credible, professional image?

Here are some basic tips, and faux pas to avoid in order to look your best:

1. Never wear a short sleeve shirt with a tie. Short sleeve shirts are perceived as lower class apparel. Fine as part of a uniform or if you aspire to be a fast-food manager, not if you want to project a professional image.

2. Shoes are one of the most evaluated elements of men’s wardrobes. Your shoes should be clean, shined, in good repair and appropriate for the occasion. If you are wearing a suit, wear lace-up shoes. Don’t wear the same shoe on consecutive days and keep shoetrees in your shoes when you’re not wearing them.

3. Trousers should be long enough to cover your socks, and socks should cover your shins even when you cross you legs. Pants are long enough if they have a slight break in the front. Pleats and cuffs are traditional and functional. Pleats let you sit down comfortably and cuffs add weight to the bottoms allowing for proper drape.

4. Wearing both a belt and braces (suspenders) make you look insecure. One or the other please. And if you opt for the braces, please make certain they are the kind that fasten inside your trousers with buttons. It’s very easy to have a tailor or the alterations person at your dry cleaners put brace buttons on your pants if they don’t already have them. The metal clip-ons are for the guys who wear short sleeve shirts with ties.

5. Socks should match your trousers.

6. Belts should match your shoes in color and texture.

7. Ties should reach your belt line. This is neither arbitrary nor negotiable. Too short of a tie makes you look like a rube.

8. Properly knotted ties have a “dimple” under the knot. Clips and tacks are out of date.

9. Suit and Sports jackets are symbols of authority. However the bottom buttons of men’s jackets are not designed to be buttoned, since King Edward VII gained weight, and started a fashion trend (see detail below). Single Breasted suits can have one, two, three or more buttons. Two and three button jackets are classic, one or more than three get you into the fashion forward arena, which is more suitable for social events than business. With two button jackets only the top button is fastened.With three button jackets, you can close the middle, or middle and top button. Some suits are made so that the lapels roll to the middle button. On those suits you leave the top button unfastened. Some East Coast hipsters fasten only the top of three buttons! Four or more button jackets may be designed to fasten all the buttons, even the bottom. If the bottom button of a four button can be closed without a noticeable pulling of the fabric, it’s ok to close or leave it open. Double Breasted suits are the more formal of the two styles and can have four to six buttons with one or two “to button”. They are often identified by a two-number designation such as 4/2, 4/1 or 6/2 (also “four to two”). Translated, the first number gives the total number of front buttons and the second is the number of functioning buttonholes. It doesn’t always mean that all the buttons have to be fastened. Often only the middle or upper button is secured on a 4/2 or 6/2, but the Duke of Kent started buttoning only his lower button creating a longer diagonal line across his chest giving the wearer a thinner, more dynamic look. Why do men never button the bottom button of your suit, sports jacket, vest or Cardigan sweater? King Edward VII, “Bertie”, son of Victoria (1841 – 1910, King 1901 – 1910) was so heavy that he could not get the bottom button fastened on his vest or to be more historically kind, maybe he just forgot. His subjects taking it as a fashion statement followed his lead and today most men’s suits, sports jackets or vests are not designed to button the bottom button. The tradition of not buttoning the bottom button may have also come from the early waistcoats, which were very long. It may have been out of necessity of being able to walk that the bottom buttons were left undone.

10. Suit and Sports jackets should fit properly which includes showing ½” of “linen” or shirtsleeve at the jacket sleeve.

11. No pens or pocket protectors in your shirt pocket. Pens go in your suit coat inside pocket, out of sight.

12. Hair longer than shoulder length for women and over the ears for men diminishes perception of authority, but increases accessibility. We live in a complex, crowded society where considerate people dress appropriately for various places and occasions. Dressing appropriately is about respect for your fellow humans and our institutions. “Do the clothes suit you? Do the clothes suit the occasion? Do the clothes suit each other?” — Richard Plourde “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society” — Mark Twain Why even be concerned with “fashion”? “Fashion passes, style remains.” — Coco Chanel (1883-1971), founder of Chanel Men’s clothing, unlike women’s, is more traditional and less fashion oriented. It takes several seasons for men’s designers to change even slightly the width of a necktie. The male business suit is virtually unchanged in 70 years! Part of that is the progression to perfection that has resulted in attire that looks great on most men. The theory is once you reach perfection, don’t mess with it! “I’m interested in longevity, timelessness, style – not fashion.”– Ralph Lauren, fashion designer. So why even bother with fashion? Why not choose acceptable classic clothing items and just stick with those?

“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months” — Oscar Wilde It’s important to know what the trends are, so you can update your wardrobe periodically with the fashion items IF they fit your own style and body type. You don’t want to still be wearing a light blue member’s only jacket and red polyester Sansabelt pants, do you? “The only moral one can draw from history is that it is much better to invent a new fashion than a new social theory. The fist may improve the appearance of men; the latter will only bring about a revolution” — Carlo Maria Franzero the biography, Beau Brummell

Tweet This Post 

Qiviuk: The most expensive wool in the world.

The MUSKOX is a shaggy, big-shouldered, almost prehistoric-looking beasts. At a distance they appear to be relatives of the buffalo, with their long, dark coats and curving horns. But here’s the first surprise: they stand only chest high to a human. What’s even more amazing is that beneath the hairy exterior is a layer of fleece so luxurious, it’s eight times warmer than wool and keeps its occupants warm even at minus-50 degrees C (-58 degrees F).

No wonder that qiviuk (kee-vee-ook), as the Inuvialuit of the Northwest Territories call it, is one of the knitwear world’s most expensive raw ingredients, selling for three times the price of cashmere. Supply is extremely limited, since wild Arctic muskox shed their undercoats just once a year — in May, when warmer temperatures arrive and the tundra becomes littered with tufts of grey-brown fleece. It’s harvested sustainably — by hand, the old way. Hunter-gatherers for centuries, the Inuit collect it where it falls or strip it from hides during hunting season. (Inuvialuit officials say it’s sustainable because the population is large and healthy, and native hunters slaughter only a fraction of the herd each year.) Inuvialuit hunters in Sachs Harbour on Banks Island, NWT, keep some of the wool for their families. Mittens made of 100% qiviuk can sell for up to $250 a pair in Yellowknife.

More Information on the MUSKOX

Tweet This Post